the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize