i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
50% drunk capacity currently
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
