I love black thongs
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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