i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
