I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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