who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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