I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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