How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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