I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
