She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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