Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
