Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
