I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
