There is too much vodka and too much dick.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
