the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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