somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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