I smell stomach acid.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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