The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
