Pregnant stripper...not hot.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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