apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
