So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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