I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
