Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
