yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
