Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
