I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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