whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
