yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
