I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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