I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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