So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
