He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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