Having a random hookup so left but love u
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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