Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
