she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm like, not good at living.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
