just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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