Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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