Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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