You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
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I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
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His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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