Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
