The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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