Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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