Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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