went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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