I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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