you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
love makes seman taste better
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
