you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
