Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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