Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize