I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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