Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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