best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
