hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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