I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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