I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
