Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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