Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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