ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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