Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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