You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
