What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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