How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
